Hi Puppy!
We’ve all done it. At some stage we have approached a dog that we didn’t know and made a fuss of it, without asking permission from the owner and without knowing whether the dog is friendly, anxious or in training. I have been (very) guilty of this on many occasion, even though I should know better.
Being approached by people who want to pet your dog is common-place and especially if your dog looks really cute or is a breed that people rarely encounter.
People coming up and approaching your dog may not be such a good idea though, especially if your dog is anxious and even more especially, if they are reactive.
Interaction On Your Terms
When you engage in regular training sessions with your dog and start progressing to more public areas to introduce more distractions, it is very likely that you will encounter three distinct types of people – The first are the people who want to come and say “Hi” to your dog, there are the type that want to let their dog say “Hi” to yours and then there are the worrying third type of person that wants to feed your dog treats or even worse, human food such as pieces of cake, sandwiches and biscuits!
Let’s take a brief look at each of these types of people in turn.
People without a Dog
These people are generally either really nice people, teenagers or young children with their parents. Adults are generally harmless and on the whole, tend to appreciate your dog. They will likely strike up a conversation and stay for a little chat, or go merrily on their way once they have made a fuss of your dog.
Teenagers & Groups of Youths
Teenagers and youths are a bit worrying and would generally be attracted to the larger, more intimidating breeds, just so they can tell all their friends that they have petted a large, scary dog. They commonly have zero respect for the dog, zero respect for you, approach the dog erratically and shout, giggle and laugh when they are in a group.
I would not let any of these youngsters approach my dog as they are likely to approach in a way that could potentially make the dog reactive and lunge at them, or increase their anxiety and reactivity if they have a fear issue.
The first question that you will likely be asked by this group of people is, “Does Your Dog Bite?”
Children
Young children are weary of dogs and they should be. As dog owners, it is my opinion that we have a responsibility to encourage children to interact with dogs and learn to respect them, rather than think they can just play with them or torment them.
In addition to this, dogs find children a bit scary at times and can become a little reactive or extra-playful, so it’s a good opportunity to teach the dog impulse control and basic manners, as well as teaching the children how to interact with your dog.
Only let a child approach your dog if you know your dog is friendly, encourage them to pet the dog on the side of their face, under their muzzle and on their chest. Petting a dog on top of the head – which is the first place a child tends to go for – can be stressful for the dog and can encourage jumping (the dog, not the child!) which could lead to problems for the child getting pushed over – the reason for this is that when the child tries to pet the dog on the head, the dogs muzzle goes up to meet the hand of the child (this is how we teach it “Sit”) and if the child gets apprehensive and lifts their hand – which is very common – the dog is encouraged to jump for their hand, thinking that they may be holding a treat.
Finally, only let the child give the dog the treats that you use for your dog. This way you know what your dog is eating. Be sure to only let them give your dog treats IF YOUR DOG KNOWS HOW TO TAKE THEM NICELY. If it doesn’t know how to take food out of the hand gently and without touching its teeth to human skin or snatching, then please DO NOT let any child (or other person) give your dog food or treats.
If AT ANY STAGE, the child shows that they are not very confident, does not follow your instructions and starts giggling and pulling their hand sharply away from your dog or running away, then stop the interaction immediately and explain to both the child and the parent why you are doing so and advise them on what they need to do the next time they encounter a dog and want to pet it.
“Feeders”
This brings us on to the third and more worrying group of people, that just go around giving treats to dogs and who I refer to simply as “Feeders”.
As a general rule of thumb, DO NOT let other people feed your dog treats. Period.
Firstly, you don’t know what they are feeding them and they could be intentionally poisoning your dog.
Secondly, the type of treats are probably the cheapest they could find and nutritionally deficient and high in preservatives.
Thirdly, they may be feeding your dog food that is meant for human consumption and not very good for the dogs digestion or overall health.
Finally, if your dog is on a specialist diet, such as raw food, a calorie-controlled diet or a type of diet that doesn’t contain certain ingredients, the last thing you want is for people to start feeding them “foods” that are not part of their regular dietary intake. Furthermore, if they have specific food allergies, then you would want to control what they ingest.
To these people – politely say “No”. These people get are looking to satisfy their own gratification by giving food to your dog, it does nothing for your dog and may even make it ill or unhealthy, which would certainly be the case if this was a regular occurrence.
All interactions with your dog, being from other people or other dogs, need to be on your terms. If your dog is in training with either general obedience or has some other form of reactivity issue or anxiety problems, then you really need to start advocating for your dog and controlling, as much as possible, what interactions they have, so that the majority of interactions can be good ones that help build their confidence.
Saying “No!”
So how do we say “No!” to people, if they attempt to interact with our dog, asking our permission or not, without intentionally upsetting them?
Well, quite simply, you don’t.
If somebody feels upset when we have politely given them a request or refused interaction with our dog, then that is 100% their issue, not yours. A feeling is something that each of us creates internally based on our experiences in life and therefore you can never control this in others, only in yourself.
Instead of worrying about upsetting people (even though they do this themselves), it is more pertinent to worry about your dog’s welfare, mental and general health. The effects of the interaction may be a great experience that helps your dog grow, but it could just as well be a psychologically damaging experience that it will carry for a lifetime or something that could be detrimental to its overall health.
So, how do we interact with these people? Here are a few ideas…
Question: “Can I give your dog a treat?”
Answer: “No”
Question: “Can I pet your dog?”
Answer: “No”
Q: “Can my dog say ‘Hi’?”
A: “No”
and the obligatory….
Q: “Does your dog bite?”
A: “Yes!” (All dogs do, but don’t tell them that!)
When you advocate for your dog and have its best interests at heart, then it really is that simple and there is never any need to explain anything further. However, let’s take a look at some more responses where we could feel a bit more comfortable at refusing interaction with our pet.
Nicely Refusing Interaction with Your Dog
Before we refuse all interactions with our dog, keep in mind that 1) letting your dog interact with people and other dogs can be a good training opportunity when controlled, and 2) it is a good socialisation experience for both dog and child, when interacting with children.
Here are some more polite ways to refuse interaction with your dog when you do not wish to engage.
- No sorry, you can’t say “Hello”, he is in training.
- No, you can’t give her a treat as she is on a special diet.
- Yes, of course you can say “Hi”, but you must do everything I say so you don’t scare her.
Being “In Training” is the numero uno “go to” in almost any situation. However, there are times where people just won’t take “No” for an answer, and that’s when you need to be firm – sometimes very firm.
“No”, “Please Don’t Touch my Dog”, “Go Away”, “Can you please stop staring at her!”, etc. Believe me when I say that I have done all of them and sometimes even then, some people just won’t leave you alone and you need to just ignore them and walk away from the situation!
Incorporating Body Position Techniques
If you notice that people are starting to approach your dog and you wish for them not to, then this is a good time to use a couple of methods that can send them a clear signal that you do not wish for them to engage with your dog, without even saying a word.
Claiming the Space
This simple little subtle technique can give two messages. It tells your dog that you’ve “got this” and they don’t need to worry about stuff as you’re in charge of the situation and it can also tell an approaching person not to interact with your dog.
All you need to do is simply put your dog in a sit by your side, then take your foot/leg closest to your dog and plant it firmly in-front of them. This has the effect of claiming the space so that your dog sees you as the leader and authority.
The simple act of doing this when somebody is approaching you, should give a clear indication to them that you do not wish for them to interact with your dog. Hopefully, they will get the message.
Blocking
This technique is known as “Blocking” and is used in dog training to shield the dog from something that is taking its attention or it could be reactive to. It involves putting your entire body in-between your dog and the “something else”, be it another dog, person, squirrel or anything else that tries to take away your dogs attention.
If you are not having a lot of luck with claiming the space, just step in-front of your dog to block the other person from approaching. You can still hold a conversation from this position too! It should put the other person off coming straight up to you.
Focus Distraction
Another way to deal with the situation is by putting your dogs attention firmly on you and away from the other person.
To do this, simply step backwards away from the approaching person and call your dog to “Come” and “Sit” facing you. Your dogs butt should now be facing the approaching person. Instruct your dog to “Watch” you (look at your face) and encourage it to keep its focus completely on you using praise and/or treats, until the person walks by.
If the other person doesn’t easily get the message that you are training your dog, you can simply inform them that your dog is “In Training”, so they cannot interact with it. Continue on your way once they have walked past.
Obviously, using this technique requires your dog to know a few basic commands and be familiar with engaging with you, so this will need to be trained first.
Using “Behind”
Another method that sends a perfectly clear method to anybody who is approaching your dog, is to get your dog to sit behind you.
This behaviour needs to be trained and put on-cue and when the person sees the dog move behind you and sit, they get a clear message that they should not engage,
Woof! Woof!
Finally, if all else fails, the other person just isn’t getting the message or you feel threatened, you can get your dog to give the impression that it is not approachable. Focus on give the “impression”.
I specifically train all of my dogs to “Speak” or “Bark” on command. The reason for this is simply because I can get them to sound the alarm in an emergency. If I have fallen and broke my leg while in the woods with my dog, I can get the dog to bark to draw attention of other people walking in the woods, who will hopefully investigate and come to my aid.
Rather than use a “Speak” command, you could use another word such as “Guard” – you can use both. You can also teach your dog to lunge on command and could use a word such as “Easy” or “Steady”.
Teaching your dog to bark on command gives the impression to others not to mess with you. Remember, you haven’t trained your dog to be aggressive, you have just taught it to bark when you say a specific word, but the word you choose gives the other person the impression that you have put your dog in “Guard Mode” – a great little trick! But be warned – you probably won’t get the desired reaction in the other person if you use this technique with smaller breeds such as a Yorkshire Terrier or Chihuahua!
Believe me, when push comes to shove and you have a Mastiff, Dobermann or Large German Shepherd breed, people will get well away from you – job done!
Advocate for Your Dog
However you approach your dog interacting with other people or other dogs, it is important to advocate for your dog at all times and act in its – and your – best interests. If you don’t, who will?
It is good practice to ensure that you socialise your dog well to people, dogs and environments. It is also well worthwhile to ensure that they are trained to be “Neutral” towards people and other animals, so that these don’t become their focus and therefore a possible source of lunging and barking and even more so if you intend for them to be an assistance dog or therapy dog.
Get comfortable saying “No”, be your dogs best friend and more importantly, be the leader that it looks up to for direction.